A Boganville Update

So, what has been happening in Boganville lately, you may (or may not) wonder...


Well, Toby Trolley (because he is often seen pushing a goods trolley with some item of furniture or other on it down the street) turned out to be Mr Congeniality. My eyesight must be failing, I should have noticed that ages ago! Anyway, on Saturday he and Mrs Congeniality had a minor disagreement. Their exchange, carried out in the African style (the protagonists at least half a street block apart, the better to use their voices) was redolent with that favourite expletive of the great unwashed, the ubiquitous F-word and was short (OK, shortish), but sharp and peaked at around 90 decibels. Apparently it had something to do with money and Mr C's predilection for "young @#$% whores" (to quote Mrs C).  A while later Mr C reappeared and handed over what I assume was the required number of notes before heading off to wherever he now does whatever he does...


On Sunday afternoon Mrs C was having a placid puff on her porch and all was peaceful on our street again.


It seems disaster has struck Benny Boat, Mrs C's neighbour with the motor boat on his front lawn. One of the two Aussie flags adorning his Holden Commode (thanks for that word, Rob!) has disappeared! One assumes that it was removed by some patriotic Bogan who did not want to pay for one of his own, even though they cost less than $5. Luckily Mr Boat still has both flags on his luggage trailer. Strangely enough there are no flags on his boat or its trailer.... Anyway, to compensate for the loss of his flag, Benny has taken to wearing a pair of shorts seemingly made of two Aussie flags. Great idea, that, to dress one's posterior in the national flag!


Today I paid a visit to the Boganville Shopping Centre, an event that never ceases to educate and edify! Apart from the obligatory Maori or Island women bulging out of their too-skimpy size 30 clothes, one is always sure to spy some prime examples of Homo Erectus Mulletus, or the as yet unnamed subspecies in which the cranial appendage is not a full mullet, but rather a tail-like collection of strands of hair between ten and thirty centimetres long. To be avoided at all costs, though, are the members of the Clan of the Toothless, especially in places where food is consumed - it is not a pretty sight!


Outside the shopping centre there is a walkway leading to the railway station. Here I spied an emporium of assorted goods, said emporium going by the name of Surprise Store. Imagine my surprise when I noticed that they stock, inter alia, "caned foods"! One would have thought that inflicting corporal punishment on foodstuff is in violation of the Code of Ethics Regarding the Treatment of Food...


Yes, all is well in Boganville, indeed!